Venting

Today is a crappy day!! Mark and I got into a big fight yesterday, and therefore today he isn't speaking to me. If there is one thing I hate is the silent treatment!! Why we have to say such hurtful things to the people we say we love the most is beyond me. Believe me, I am not innocent in this either, I say hurtful things as well, but I at least try to apologize and set things right. I don't know if this happens because we fight as passionately as we love each other, or if there are things beyond repair that he is bringing to the surface of his heart. The idea of that saddens me, but if that is the problem then I can't fix them alone, and he isn't speaking to me. Our marriage has been filled with issues right from the start, and it feels like we have had to struggle more then things have been right and peaceful. This isn't the way a marriage is suppose to be. I know all couples experiences ups and downs, but when exactly do the ups become more frequent then the downs. I know that part of our vows said, "for better and for worse," but sometimes it feels like the worse is more then I can handle. I am mentally and physically exhausted from all of the fighting. I know I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself as there are people out there with problems much worse then mine, but sometimes a person just needs to vent without hearing someone tell them all the things they should be doing. Isn't it funny that everyone seems to have the answers to every one else's problems? Well I think I've spent enough time on the pity potty for today. Time to put my "big girl undies" on and and deal with things like a grown up.