Loving Who They Have Made Me!

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else."- Judy Garland. This has become my new favorite quote as it is something I have to remind myself of everyday. With so many people pulling me in so many different directions it is hard to remember who I am. As a mother I often feel like I have lost part of my idenity. More often than not people call me: "Rachel's mommy," or "Jillian's mommy," or Elijah's mommy," instead of Rebbecca. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know who Rebbecca is anymore. I am certainly not the same person I was 10 years ago or even 5 years ago. I have been trying to mold myself into what everyone else expects me to be. Sometimes I miss the old Rebbecca, and often times wish I could go back to being that same person, a person with less things expected of her. But then I see a smile on one of my childrens faces or hear one of them laughing, and reality comes back to me. There is no one else I'd rather be than Rachel's mommy, and Jillian's mommy, and Elijah's mommy. They have made me better, and richer, and happier then I could have ever imagined that I would be. They are truely a blessing, and I love them all so much.

Where exactly does time go?

I can't believe that it has been five years since we said, " I do." Where exactly does the time go? Boy what a journey we have already taken; some of it so wonderful, some of it not so wonderful, but all of it shaping who we are and where the next part of our journey will take us. I love him so deeply, and even when I want to scream at him, I can't imagine my life without him. I hope he still feels the same about me. Who can say exactly what direction our lives are heading in the next five years, but I hope it will be together. I hope the bumps in the road will smooth out, that we can learn to communicate better, to involve each other in the little things more often, and show one another how appreciated they are. But for now this is all I will write, as my journey is not yet over.